Specter to launch sign-stealing probe

An entry for Onion sports.

WASHINGTON -- Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., announced plans yesterday to investigate sign-stealing allegations that arose after a recent game in the Lansdale (Pa.) Little League.

Specter said he learned of the controversy after reading a one-paragraph summary of a game between Homestead Remodeling and Yocum Ford in the Lansdale Reporter newspaper. Homestead won the game, 14-3.

In the paragraph, Yocum player Timmy Parker accused Homestead catcher Ryan Clark of stealing Yocum's bunt sign because Homestead pitcher Andy Denny "totally threw the next pitch way outside," Parker said. Parker missed his bunt try, and baserunner Jake Bell was tagged out in a rundown between third and home.

Reached for comment yesterday, Parker said his alleagations are proven by the fact that he's "the best bunter on the team," and called Clark "a cheating doo-doo head."

Specter called the allegations "disappointing."

"There is no room for cheating doo-doo heads in America's pastime," Specter said at a press conference on the steps of the Capitol. "Children must learn the value of sportsmanship at an early age. They should also know that if they cheat, their actions, no matter how insignificant or irrelevant to the business of American government, will draw the full attention of this nation's elected officials."

Specter, chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said a re-evaluation of the league's antitrust exemption may be warranted by the allegations.