Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Douchebag of the Week

Saxby Chambliss. We've been expecting you.
In today's Senate Armed Services committee hearing, Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) defended rape and sexual assault that occurs in the military, saying: "The young folks coming in to each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23. Gee-whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur. So, we've got to be very careful on our side."
Yep, because people are physically attracted to each other, sexual assault and rape is "natural." So what are all those whiny rape "victims" complaining about?

If that's true (it's not), then perhaps Saxby should follow his "reasoning" to it's logical conclusion and reconsider the wisdom of allowing heterosexuals to serve in the military.

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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Douchebag of the Week

An open letter.

Senator Brian Nieves
201 W Capitol Ave., Rm. 423
Jefferson City, MO 65101

Dear Senator Nieves,

I think you should know that it appears a petulant 12-year-old has hacked your e-mail and is engaging in angry, bizarre e-mail exchanges with your constituents.

I read the exchange you -- or, more likely, someone who hacked your account -- had with Bart Cohn, who, I don't need to remind you, is a former city councilman from Wildwood. I immediately noted the immature nature of the messages sent from your account. I mean, threatening a constituent with a "he/she started it" e-mail archive? Clearly this isn't the kind of thing an adult would send to another adult, but the account does have your name on it, so I felt you should know about it.

Another clue was the use of capitalization and exclamation points to amplify the assertions made in the original message. Hilarious? Sure, but clearly not something that was written by an elected official. I mean, it reminds me of a "WAKE UP white people!!!!!" flyer the KKK once left on my windshield.

And who else but a pubescent, perhaps confused, pre-teen would feel the need to announce his heterosexuality to strangers? Or to anyone, for that matter?


The apparent hacker completes the e-mail exchange by actually insulting Mr. Cohn's appearance. Imagine, the person who wrote these messages actually took the time, at nearly 1 a.m., to Google Mr. Cohn, found a picture and insulted the man's beard. A schoolyard-level insult -- unsophisticated, petty and pathetic. Obviously, this is not the way you would spend your constituents' tax dollars.

So I wanted to bring this matter to your attention because you come across looking like a real douchebag, and I am sure would you want to contact Mr. Cohn right away and apologize.

Luckily, you have his e-mail address.

You're welcome,

Dr. S


Thursday, March 21, 2013

CNN bemoans killer's sentence

My occasional public application to The Onion continues.

In its coverage of the sentencing of convicted murderer T.J. Lane, who flipped off victim's families during an obscenity-laced statement in court, CNN focused on the impact the sentence will have on Lane.

Lane was sentenced to three consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.

"This is an 18-year-old young man. A boy, really," CNN reporter Poppy Harlow said outside the courthouse. "He had his whole life ahead of him before this tragic, senseless act. By Judge David Fuhry, I mean."

In handing down the sentence, Fuhry noted Lane's complete lack of remorse for murdering Daniel Parmertor, 16, Demetrius Hewlin, 16, and Russell King Jr., 17, and wounding three other students in a shooting at Chardon High School in Chardon, Ohio.

Upon entering the courtroom, Lane removed a blue button-down shirt to reveal a T-shirt with the word "killer" scrawled across it in black marker.

"It's just so tragic," said Harlow. "He was such a promising student. The shirt could have read, "killer mathlete" if he had just been allowed to realize his potential."

"And so crafty," added anchor Candy Crowley, in reference to the T-shirt. "Who would've thought to do that? He seems to have a creative flair."

Harlow also reported on Lane's vile, obscenity-laced statement to the victims' families, a statement he punctuated by giving the families the middle finger.

"His statement was only two sentences. He certainly understands how to get directly to the point. So many teens lack the self-confidence to be an effective public speaker," Harlow said.

"Sounds like he would've made a great writer. Or statesman," Crowley added, before asking a guest expert about the lasting effect of three consecutive life sentences on an impressionable young man.

"What? Are we really having this conversation?" asked the guest, renowned child psychologist Lauren Higgins, looking around the studio, apparently attempting to determine if she was being pranked. "This person showed no remorse for killing three high school students. He taunted and flipped off the families. He's a piece of shit, the lowest form of human garbage. I hope the other prisoners rape and mutilate him tomorrow. Fuck him."

Crowley then wondered aloud about the potential impact that raping Lane might have on the rapists.

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Saturday, February 02, 2013

I Got You Babe

Happy Groundhog Day.

By the way, apparently Spring is coming early this year.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

'Meaningful contributions'

Well, looks like the National Rifle Association has finally crawled out of its hole to attempt to approximate the human emotions of sympathy and concern. And lest ye think that these swine took down their Facebook page and stopped tweeting its stupidity 140 characters at a time out of what humankind knows as shame, the NRA reminds us that it knows no shame.
"Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting."
Yes, that's why the group shuttered its Facebook page, out of respect and decency, not because the alleged people of the NRA have finally realized that their life's work has done nothing but facilitate evil and certainly not to avoid the flood of criticism on the page that the group so richly deserves (and that I will be contributing to as soon as I finish this post).

Yes, decency. From that beacon of decency, the National Rifle Association.

And, oh goody, the Gun Nut Club is planning a "major news conference" for Friday, when it will presumably announce what "meaningful contributions" it plans to offer to ensure the safety of humankind. The same safety that has been collateral damage in the NRA's battle to make sure every stupid fuck who wants a gun can get one as easily as possible. (Not to mention the NRA's other mission, which is to make as much money as possible off of idiots who think an extremely dangerous weapon bolsters a shaky manhood, adds inches or makes them safer, although it does none of these things.)

So if, in search of a solution to this problem, you are looking to the alleged people who have worked tirelessly and greedily to help create this problem, prepare to be underwhelmed.

UPDATE: The underwhelming.
The nation's largest gun-rights lobby is calling for armed security guards to be posted in every American school. [...]

[NRA CEO Wayne] LaPierre said his organization was willing to train and organize retired police officers, soldiers, fire fighters, medics and citizen volunteers into a corps of security guards. He called the proposed program the National School Shield Emergency Response Program.
 The NRA's "meaningful contribution" to gun violence in schools? Putting more guns in schools.

LaPierre (hmm... that sounds French. Is French bashing still fashionable?) offered no proposals regarding limits on any type of gun, access to guns or the size of magazines. Apparently, in the opinion of the NRA, none of those things -- guns, easy access to guns, or large magazines -- contributed to this tragedy in any way. So what did LaPierre say?
"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun."
It sounds like a bad guy with a gun is pretty dangerous. More dangerous than a bad guy with a knife, or a club, or a pointed stick. Definitely more dangerous than a bad guy without a gun. Well, if that's the case, then shouldn't we be making it harder for bad guys to get guns? Not in Wayne's world.
"Does anybody really believe that the next Adam Lanza isn't planning his attack on a school he's already identified at this very moment?"
And does anybody really believe that he isn't planning to use a gun? Or several guns, with large magazines?

And does anybody really believe that the NRA is going to help make it even a little bit harder for him to get the guns he's planning to use?

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Monday, December 17, 2012

Gun safety

From the FAQ page of the Crossroads of the West Gun Shows Web site:

Q: Can I carry a loaded gun in the gun show? I have a Concealed Carry Permit. 
A: We respectfully request that you do not bring any loaded firearm into the gun show. Safety is our Number One Priority, and a safe environment in the show can only be maintained if there are no loaded guns in the show.

If there were a follow-up question page (FUQ?) page on the site, I would post the question, "Does the 'a safe environment can only be maintained if there are no loaded guns' rule of thumb also apply in homes, schools, churches, fast food restaurants and basically everywhere there are people?"


Friday, December 14, 2012

School shooting

This time in Connecticut. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families.

What are we going to do about it? Nothing is not an option.

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