Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Douchebag of the Week

An open letter.

Senator Brian Nieves
201 W Capitol Ave., Rm. 423
Jefferson City, MO 65101

Dear Senator Nieves,

I think you should know that it appears a petulant 12-year-old has hacked your e-mail and is engaging in angry, bizarre e-mail exchanges with your constituents.

I read the exchange you -- or, more likely, someone who hacked your account -- had with Bart Cohn, who, I don't need to remind you, is a former city councilman from Wildwood. I immediately noted the immature nature of the messages sent from your account. I mean, threatening a constituent with a "he/she started it" e-mail archive? Clearly this isn't the kind of thing an adult would send to another adult, but the account does have your name on it, so I felt you should know about it.

Another clue was the use of capitalization and exclamation points to amplify the assertions made in the original message. Hilarious? Sure, but clearly not something that was written by an elected official. I mean, it reminds me of a "WAKE UP white people!!!!!" flyer the KKK once left on my windshield.

And who else but a pubescent, perhaps confused, pre-teen would feel the need to announce his heterosexuality to strangers? Or to anyone, for that matter?


The apparent hacker completes the e-mail exchange by actually insulting Mr. Cohn's appearance. Imagine, the person who wrote these messages actually took the time, at nearly 1 a.m., to Google Mr. Cohn, found a picture and insulted the man's beard. A schoolyard-level insult -- unsophisticated, petty and pathetic. Obviously, this is not the way you would spend your constituents' tax dollars.

So I wanted to bring this matter to your attention because you come across looking like a real douchebag, and I am sure would you want to contact Mr. Cohn right away and apologize.

Luckily, you have his e-mail address.

You're welcome,

Dr. S



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