CNN bemoans killer's sentence

My occasional public application to The Onion continues.

In its coverage of the sentencing of convicted murderer T.J. Lane, who flipped off victim's families during an obscenity-laced statement in court, CNN focused on the impact the sentence will have on Lane.

Lane was sentenced to three consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.

"This is an 18-year-old young man. A boy, really," CNN reporter Poppy Harlow said outside the courthouse. "He had his whole life ahead of him before this tragic, senseless act. By Judge David Fuhry, I mean."

In handing down the sentence, Fuhry noted Lane's complete lack of remorse for murdering Daniel Parmertor, 16, Demetrius Hewlin, 16, and Russell King Jr., 17, and wounding three other students in a shooting at Chardon High School in Chardon, Ohio.

Upon entering the courtroom, Lane removed a blue button-down shirt to reveal a T-shirt with the word "killer" scrawled across it in black marker.

"It's just so tragic," said Harlow. "He was such a promising student. The shirt could have read, "killer mathlete" if he had just been allowed to realize his potential."

"And so crafty," added anchor Candy Crowley, in reference to the T-shirt. "Who would've thought to do that? He seems to have a creative flair."

Harlow also reported on Lane's vile, obscenity-laced statement to the victims' families, a statement he punctuated by giving the families the middle finger.

"His statement was only two sentences. He certainly understands how to get directly to the point. So many teens lack the self-confidence to be an effective public speaker," Harlow said.

"Sounds like he would've made a great writer. Or statesman," Crowley added, before asking a guest expert about the lasting effect of three consecutive life sentences on an impressionable young man.

"What? Are we really having this conversation?" asked the guest, renowned child psychologist Lauren Higgins, looking around the studio, apparently attempting to determine if she was being pranked. "This person showed no remorse for killing three high school students. He taunted and flipped off the families. He's a piece of shit, the lowest form of human garbage. I hope the other prisoners rape and mutilate him tomorrow. Fuck him."

Crowley then wondered aloud about the potential impact that raping Lane might have on the rapists.