Bush, moved by Holocaust Memorial visit, bombs Auschwitz

Another entry in my ongoing public audition for The Onion.

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Just days after being moved to tears by a tour of Israel’s Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial, President Bush ordered the bombing of Auschwitz-Birkenau, the largest and most notorious Nazi concentration camp during World War II.

During his visit to Yad Vashem, Bush asked Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice why the United States didn’t bomb the camp during the war, and she reportedly replied, “Because the prisoners we would have been trying to save were there.”

“With the NIE [National Intelligence Estimate] pulling the plug on our original plans, I figured, why not?” Bush said in explaining his order to bomb the site, in southern Poland. “Did I mention that the NIE does not reflect my own views?”

The former concentration camp was operating as a museum and memorial to the millions of victims who died there. It was unclear how many staff and visitors were there at the time of the bombing.

“Today we have righted one of history’s great wrongs: Not bombing something when the opportunity presented itself,” Bush said.

“Never again,” Bush added. “Never again.”