Friday, August 14, 2009

Opt Out

OK, I get it. Conservatives don't like paying taxes. And I'm sure that's not just because "taxes are bad" is the only Republican message that has gotten any real, sustained traction outside the party in years.

So if conservatives don't want to participate in a society in which everyone helps each other and contributes to the greater good, I say let them opt out. Let them put their precious money where their mouths are and march on down to City Hall or municipal building or whatever and sign a form stating that they no longer wish to pay taxes. Fine. Their names and addresses will be entered into a database so that they never again will be saddled with the crushing burden of paying taxes.

Of course, opting out also means that they no longer will be permitted to make use of anything that was built or is maintained with tax revenue. So they can start by handing over their driver's licenses, which they won't need anymore anyway because they no longer will be permitted to use the roads, not even as a passenger in someone else's vehicle. If someone on the opt-out list is found to be traveling on a road maintained by tax revenue, the vehicle is to be impounded immediately. By the way, no using public transit either.

Sure, their kids won't be able to get to school anymore, but if they go to public school, well, it's not their school anymore anyway. Opt Outers also can forget about going to any municipal park, playground or library, which doesn't matter because, being unable to use the roads, there's no way to get to them anyway.

Not being able to use the roads pretty much means that people who don't want to pay taxes will have to stay home. And I hope they don't own that home, because if the property tax isn't paid, well ... so get ready to sell that home and rent something. And I hope that rental isn't burglarized and doesn't catch fire, because police and fire protection are two more things Opt Outers can kiss goodbye. And I hope that rental property has a well, or nothing's going to come out of the faucets. And I hope it has a septic system, or they can forget about flushing the toilet. And have fun paying a private hauler to come to your rented home to collect your trash.

But even though you no longer pay taxes, you still are subject to the laws of the community you live parallel to (but not within since you aren't contributing financially to it's maintenance or well-being). If you break the law, you will be arrested and will have to appear in court.

But don't worry, that's all on the house. And isn't passing off the costs onto someone else what it was really all about?

What other kinds of services Opt Outers can forget about once they stop paying taxes?

On a related note, with all of their ignorant noise about smaller government and fewer taxes, I find it suprising how conservative the populations of condo associations are, given the added layer of rules, bureacracy and fees. I guess that even though they claim to hate big government and taxes, they will gladly live in a place that requires payment of association fees and special assessments, as well as compliance with association rules regarding minutiae such as what colors they are permitted to paint their shutters, if it means they get to infringe on the freedoms of their neighbors.

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