Farewell speech

Is there any excitement, enthusiasm or even perceptable interest out there at all surrounding George Bush’s farewell address tonight? I mean, other than the joy that, at last, we have reached the end of a long and shitty road, that the national global nightmare is almost over?

(I realize that “global nightmare” lacks the satisfying alliteration of “national nightmare,” but it is more accurate.)

I stopped watching Bush’s prepared speeches years ago because I was certain that he was lying every time he gave one. The SOTU addresses were particularly unbearable.

Eventually, I stopped listening every time Bush spoke, which is remarkable because, until recently, even a president who was full of shit was still the leader of the most powerful nation on earth and for that reason was still influential. He might not have known what he was talking about and might have been lying through his teeth, but when such a leader spoke, it still had consequences. It still mattered.

It used to be that when a president planned to address the nation in prime time, there was a buzz, and people made sure they didn’t miss it. But tonight, as Bush prepares to give his final address to the nation, nobody seems to care. That could be because Bush’s speeches have been devoid of substance and adhered predictably to conservative talking points for so long that it’s unreasonable to expect anything significant or surprising to come out of this. Or it could be that everyone knows this is going to be nothing more than the last stop of the Legacy Tour, and nobody wants to watch Bush polish his figurative turd on prime-time TV. There are so many more constructive ways to spend your time – like polishing literal turds, for instance.

So, is anyone interested in what history’s lamest duck has to say? Does anyone even care?

What are you going to do instead?