New CENTCOM commander

After the biggest speedbump between the administration and the neocon wet dream of a third concurrent foreign war was forced out, guess who George nominated to replace him? As you might have guessed, it’s a yes man.

Army Gen. David Petraeus, the four-star general who led troops in Iraq for the past year, will be nominated by President Bush to be the next commander of U.S. Central Command, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Wednesday.

Gates said he expected Petraeus to make the shift in late summer or early fall. The Pentagon chief also announced that Bush will nominate Army Lt. Gen. Ray Odierno to replace Petraeus in Baghdad.

Central Command oversees the wars in Iraq and in Afghanistan.

I guess that with Congress’ reluctance to criticize Petraeus, BushCo feels it needs Petraeus’ credibility (as nobody within the administration has any left) to ease its third march to war.

I can see it now: Soon we will start hearing reports of all kinds of provocative activity by Iran, intelligence reports of WMD development (or the knowledge of how to begin to start to prepare to learn how to develop WMD-related programs), and, just as gas nears $4.50 a gallon and BushCo is in need of a huge distraction, probably around July 4, BOOM! Shock and Awe Part Deux! Neocons watch the explosions and carnage on Faux News with their pants around their ankles, and John McCain poses for adoring black-and-white photos in the White House situation room, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, studying maps and shit with Petraeus, Bush, Cheney and The Gang, looking all competent and involved and presidential, and suddenly the Democrat’s lead in the polls disappears as the rudderless campaign of an uninspiring, out-of-touch septuagenarian is transformed by the steely, squinty glare of a war hero returning to rescue us from the scary brown people who were beginning to start to prepare to learn how to develop WMD-related programs.

We take control of Iranian oil fields and promptly remove their output from the world's oil supply, Halliburton gets a shitload of lucrative no-bid defense contracts and Richard Perle gets his first non-Viagra-related boner since 2003. McCain jumps to the front of the polls and industries throughout the country breathe a sigh of relief as the specter of increased oversight and safety inspections slips away, and Bush and Cheney retire to their multimillion-dollar estates free of the fear of DOJ inquiries into the past eight years. And all it cost was the lives of a couple of hundred thousand Iranian civilians that nobody in D.C. gives a shit about anyway and a few thousand unfortunate U.S. troops. But, hey, as Republicans keep reminding us, they volunteered for duty, so fuck ’em, right?

Of course, the American people lose too. That is, the ones who aren’t rich. Because a vote for McCain, whether inspired by fear or not, is a vote to turn the eight-year nightmare that was the Bush administration into a 12-year nightmare. And, believe me, fear is the only tool left in the bag of a party whose policies for so long have benefitted the few at the expense of the many.

UPDATE: Well, you didn’t think he was suddenly going to start second-guessing BushCo, did you?