Pin-ups

That's Vice President Dick Cheney, pardners, looking all manly and traditional values-y, and NOTHING, I repeat, nothing, like some 5-deferment-taking pussy from the Vietnam era, in the 2007 RNC calendar.

I viewed the rest of the images that loyal wingnuts can gaze at conservatively each month, but noted a few unfortunate omissions. For instance, where's this picture?

That was the end of major combat operations in Iraq, a defining moment of the Bush presidency. How could it be left out? And what about this one?

It's President Bush, applying his deft touch to the world of international relations. How can any patriotic American see that picture and not beam with pride?

And I got to thinkin': Why doesn't the calendar include all Republicans? You know, big tent and all that. Why leave so much greatness uncelebrated?

For example, who could forget this guy?

Or the Duke-stir?

I mean, you have 12 months. Why not make room for Bob Ney and Tom Noe? Hey, why not make it a 16-month calendar and include David Safavian?

The summer months beg for some vacation photos. You know, heartwarming images of Republicans at play, like this:

So what if Cheney shot him in the face in February? Harry Whittington is Mr. June.

But this may be one of my favorite vacation photos.

After all, vacation is about casting your cares aside and just HAVING FUN, and if you can smile while an entire major American city is drowning, then you really get what it means to be on vacation.

And let's not forget the holidays, that magical time of year when our homes are visited by that guy we all know so well (but none of us have actually met), with gifts for all the girls, boys and re-election campaigns.

I don't see a menorah, but the White House claims that 'ol Jack came around only for Hanukkah receptions, and that's good enough for me.

And where the fuck are Rummy and Wolfie? I mean, who -- besides Bush -- better personifies the defining event of Bush's legacy? And what about Condi?

I'd hate to think it was a black thing.