Mission accomplished?

It's OK, we all can relax now. Apparently the United States no longer faces any threats to its security.

President Bush on Thursday defended his administration's decision to allow a company from an Arab country to operate six major U.S. ports, saying, "People don't need to worry about security."

That's certainly a strange thing to say when your entire presidency has been built on keeping people afraid. Bush has fanned the flames of fear to justify the USA PATRIOT Act (remember to capitalize -- after all, it's a clever acronym), invading Iraq, detaining thousands of people at secret CIA prisons around the world without charges or access to legal representation, torturing suspects at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Grahib, outsourcing torture through its extraordinary rendition program, eavesdropping on American citizens without warrants, and increasing defense spending (you know, on things other than armor for troops and their vehicles) while deficits spiral out of control. The administration also has used fear to muzzle critics and beat back political opponents.

But when it comes to spreading the wealth and giving a little taste to old family friends from the UAE, people should set aside the fear Bush has stoked since pretty much the turn of the century and just keep their mouths shut.

Don't worry, I'm sure that soon enough the administration will find it convenient to try to scare us shitless again. After all, there's an election in November, and why else would they be keeping Dick Cheney around?

By the way, it's nice to know that even though the administration struck a secret deal with the UAE company that appears poised to take control of operations at ports in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia, Bush had no idea that the deal was even taking place.

What exactly does Bush do?