Disaster alert

Truth is waaaaaaaaay stranger than fiction.

Former FEMA Director Michael Brown, heavily criticized for his agency's slow response to Hurricane Katrina, is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm to help clients avoid the sort of errors that cost him his job.

"If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses -- because that goes straight to the bottom line -- then I hope I can help the country in some way," Brown told the Rocky Mountain News for its Thursday editions.

Brown said officials need to "take inventory" of what's going on in a disaster to be able to answer questions to avoid appearing unaware of how serious a situation is.

Now, you would think Mike Brown would know a little something about "appearing unaware of how serious a situation is." But can he really think his failure was due to his inability to answer questions? What about the fact that New Orleans was under water while you dined out and traded e-mail about your wardrobe, Mike? Or the fact you didn't know the Superdome was being used as a staging area? Do you think that might have something to do with the fact that all literate Americans consider you a complete failure?

With his focus on the appearance of competence, it seems Brown is still fuctioning under the guiding principle of the Bush administration: It just has to look like results.

Back to the article:

In the aftermath of the hurricane, critics complained about Brown's lack of formal emergency management experience and e-mails that later surfaced showed him as out of touch with the extent of the devastation.

The lawyer admits that while he was head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency mistakes were made in the response to Katrina. He also said he had been planning to quit before the hurricane hit.

"Hurricane Katrina showed how bad disasters can be, and there's an incredible need for individuals and businesses to understand how important preparedness is," he said.

Whoa, what? Disasters can be bad? I guess that's why they're called disasters.

Brown said companies already have expressed interested in his consulting business, Michael D. Brown LLC. He plans to run it from the Boulder area, where he lived before joining the Bush administration in 2001.

"I'm doing a lot of good work with some great clients," Brown said. "My wife, children and my grandchild still love me. My parents are still proud of me."

They must be the clients he's referring to. Who else would seek advice about disaster preparedness from someone so apparently unsuited for the job? What's next? Michael Jackson starting a babysitting service? OJ becoming a marriage counselor? Ken Lay teaching a business ethics course?

I have a feeling there's another disaster in Mike Brown's future. And it's called Michael D. Brown LLC.